Can You Be Autistic and Not Know It

My whole life I thought there was something wrong with me.  My diagnosis inverse those thoughts.  When I learned nearly my diagnosis I knew cipher was wrong with me…I knew that I had something very special about me and my life was near to change.

It was April 3, 2013, two weeks after my 34^thursday birthday, when I heard the words: "you're on the spectrum." As before long as I heard those four words, my body collapsed into my mom'south arms. My mom and my stepdad were both in the room with me and you could experience the relief that went out the window.

I remember walking out of work two days later my official diagnosis after a long day and stopping in my steps in the center of the parking lot thinking to myself "I feel normal."  Why, after all these years, did I finally feel "normal?"

I'1000 nevertheless trying to figure out what this all means.  All I know for certain is that I finally experience whole and as strange every bit this might sound, my life makes sense now.  I don't feel out of place and awkward.  I guess the greatest thing that came out of this is how I've been feeling my whole life has finally been validated.

When I tell people I am autistic, their reactions are mostly "Wow, I would never take guessed that.  You don't human action like you lot accept autism." I want to say dorsum to them "How am I supposed to act?" You lot tin't tell a person is on the spectrum past simply looking at them.  As I try to explain what existence on the spectrum means, I can run into them start to become an interest in what I'thou saying and they showtime asking me questions.  I reply them as best every bit I can past using examples of my own life.

While I'm glad that I finally know I'm autistic, I sometimes wonder what my life would have been if I had been diagnosed as a child instead of in my early on thirties.  I wonder in my own thoughts if I was a child now with the same class, would I be diagnosed? I didn't speak until I was four years old and spent many of my early years in voice communication therapy.  I've been sensitive to loud noises and I now understand my sensory bug.  No one suspected autism.  In vii^thursday Grade, I was diagnosed with Dyslexia and in my early twenties, it was ADHD.  The funny thing is I never actually felt as though I had either of those.  Throughout my twenties, I saw many therapists that never thought of the idea of autism.  It was so frustrating for me non knowing why I was and felt so unlike.  No one seemed to know.

While I was going to my concluding therapist, it was my mom who brought up the thought of me having Asperger'south syndrome.  She had been reading nigh it and she saw some of the traits that she saw in me…especially the social attribute of it.  As my mom brought this to my attention, I started to do some research on my ain.  The more than I read about Asperger's/autism, the more I saw myself in those words.  Could this be the answer that I had been looking for all my life?

I think I had two things working against me growing upwards.  The offset was that autism wasn't as known as it is today. Second, it was and still is in a modest way considered to be a boys thing.

While boys on the spectrum tend to go rowdy, girls on the spectrum tend to introvert and are labeled shy and tranquillity. That's all I heard growing upwards…that I was shy and quiet.  Information technology bellyaching the heck out of me.

I now feel that I am understood much better by the people in my life.  Information technology'due south a struggle everyday trying to figure out this matter called life as someone who is on the spectrum, but with the back up of my family and friends, I know I tin can become a better person.  Only the other day, someone very close to me mentioned how far I have come in such a short fourth dimension.  I nevertheless get frustrated on piffling things I feel I shouldn't practise and my sensory sensitivity, simply I am learning how to live as a female person on the autism spectrum.

At present as my 35^th birthday and my one year ceremony of my diagnosis approaches, I could non be any happier with whom I am.  The past twelvemonth has been has been a roller coaster, but I can finally truly say that I am comfy in my own skin.  Information technology'south a great feeling!

This invitee mail service is from Samantha Ranaghan, an adult on the spectrum.

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Source: https://www.autismspeaks.org/life-spectrum/my-story-being-diagnosed-autism-adult